top of page
  • Blog

Out of Order

My intention when creating a blog was to share this unique and personal journey with you in real time. Unfortunately, there was something not considered when making that pledge…sustained periods of significant pain, nausea and exhaustion. Officially, my body is out of order. So too are my thoughts and activities. Unanticipated times like these leave me unable to even consider writing something interesting, no mind coherent.

I started the new year and my second round of infusion on January 4 with a double dose of chemo. Unexpectedly, the side effects continued up to session 2 on January 11. No break this time. Which meant no strength or stream of brainpower to create blog posts.

Treatment requires blood work the day prior to chemo to ensure sufficient white blood cells are available to begin the process. We learned that the January 4 infusion reduced my white count below the safe range. But it was close, so rather than delay treatment, my oncologist elected to prescribe a post-chemo treatment. This treatment consisted of 5 daily injections of a medication which interacts with the body’s bone marrow to produce white blood cells. This is important as those extra white blood cells help fight infection and allow me to stay on schedule with chemo.

Regrettably, this medication also brings its own group of side effects. Among those experienced included a cumulative bone and muscle pain in the back, ribs, arms, hips, knees and legs. After Sunday’s final injection, the pain rose significantly; so much so that it broke through the maximum doses of both Morphine and Percocet. That evening, with several hours left before my next dose I prayed like never before; begging God in His infinite mercy to carry me through the night. As always, He responded. Like a miracle, difficult to describe, His loving hand helped me endure the worst pain yet. Now, thanks be to God, the most difficult side-effects of this medication are behind me.

I had hoped to enjoy a few days reprieve following both the January 4 and 11 treatments. I planned to write a few blog posts and to stay in touch. Well, you probably know the saying… “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” No, I didn’t get what I had hoped for. As usual, He gave me something better; an affirmation of his love and mercy and a confirmation that He remains always with me.

By the way, it’s not only my body that is out of order. Used in a different syntax, my blog posts will now be out of order. Just before the pain from the injections began I managed to write an update on my condition based on a PET scan. I think it makes more sense to post this and then that.

I’d like to close with a thought recently shared by one of my sibs… “There’s only one way to experience an abiding peace that transcends circumstances – by faith.” I know this, as I am living proof.

Jesus, I trust in you. Help me trust you more.

503 views11 comments

Recent Posts

See All

11 comentarios

22 may 2021

Hey Hank...Tim Conway Junior asked on his radio show this evening that we all pray for you. Well...everyone here at Santiago Retreat Center already is...but you will be getting a HUGE uptick in prayer energy coming your way after Tim's request. Miss you. God Bless You. Gary

Me gusta

25 ene 2021

You are the most positive, happy, loving man I know. Your faith is your strength and it will carry you through this trial. You are well loved from everywhere and all are praying for your recovery. I am so sorry you have to endure such pain. Hoping it will subside. God bless and watch over you. We love you! Suzane & George Treneer

Me gusta

Alba Ramiro
Alba Ramiro
23 ene 2021

What a blessing to hear from you Hank! Hearing of your pain and struggles reminds me of the surreal strength, courage and faith in every aching cell of your body. You are and will continue to be in my prayers. Sending much love and even more prayers Hermano en Cristo

Me gusta

Katie Dawson
Katie Dawson
22 ene 2021

Hank - wow. praying for you every day.

Me gusta

21 ene 2021

Oh Hank, a giant virtual hug to you, my friend. Your transparency through your pain and suffering continues to be such an inspiration. God is definitely using you, even though you didn't want to be used in this way. Who would?! May scripture below give you peace. It was in "Jesus Calling" today, and it seemed perfect.

Deuteronomy 33:27

The eternal God is a dwelling place,

And underneath are the everlasting arms;

And he drove out the enemy from before you,

And said, 'Destroy!'

Me gusta
bottom of page