Tomorrow

In the musical Annie, just the thought of “tomorrow” gave Annie a sense of hope and encouragement. I’m guessing that age and health may have had a lot to do with her perspective.

The past few weeks presented me with several unkind reminders of my age and health. I closed the month of July in ICU with sepsis. While in the hospital, I experienced another life transforming experience: rapid hair loss. It was as if my scalp aged in fast motion. It was the cumulative result and a latent effect of chemotherapy.

A somewhat slower, but significant side-effect was weight loss. Mirrors now reflect a thinner me (by about 30 pounds). This would have been awesome when I was healthy. Today, it only reduces my strength.

The irony of being hospitalized with sepsis is its likely cause…my chemo. I was beginning to think that the cure might be what kills me. My oncologist led us down a path of choosing to decrease the dosage of the current chemo, switch to another chemo, or stop treatment altogether. He recommended trying a different chemo known to be effective against breast cancer with an efficacy, still to be determined, against my urothelial cancer.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Not me for sure. But I can, and will, continue moving forward. I have lab work scheduled tomorrow and an infusion of the newest chemo on Thursday. This will be the 5th chemo since I was diagnosed.

I remain convinced that prayer, medication, love, and gratitude will increase both the quantity and quality of my days ahead. With the conviction of Annie that the sun will come out tomorrow, I can assure you that I will remain hopeful and thankful with each sunrise.