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Anticipation is an emotion involving pleasure or anxiety in considering or awaiting an expected event. It was also the title of a hit song by Carly Simon that, in the 80’s, was also used in a Heinz ketchup commercial.

For me, anticipation is a highly-charged, mixed emotion; the majority being anxiety. Monday will be Season 2; Episode 1 of chemo. Day 1 of each cycle is the LONG day (7 hours) and the infusion of 2 chemo cocktails. That’s not as bad as the side-effects. In addition to the “normal” pain, I’m anticipating several days of nausea, lethargy, and feeling like a member of the cast of The Walking Dead.

I’m not sure if this is the season I lose my hair…or perhaps that’s coming after the next episode. Although I am not looking forward to it, I am prepared. For Christmas, some of my sibs sent me wigs. Wigs you would expect to find for Halloween at Party City. My family is a humorous sort, always trying to make me smile. If ever I feel like “the king of rock & roll”, I can slip on an Elvis wig. For St. Patty’s Day, there is an all green one. For whenever I might be feeling patriotic … red, white and blue of course. Based on my mood, I have a blonde (80’s look), or a black rug. Thank God it is winter…I much prefer a hat.

Here’s something to pleasurably anticipate. My palliative care doctor is a cancer survivor who told me that when his hair grew back, it came in thicker, darker, and curlier. Now there is something to hope for and look forward to!

Ah yes…and something we all anticipate…the new year ahead being better than the one we just ended.

Wishing you a healthy, happy, and holy 2021!

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